"Shane was killed 6 years ago today" were the words of a text my Dad sent. At first, all I saw was the word "killed". As soon as I read that word a hot flash went over my body thinking he was telling me someone else had died. It only lasted a few seconds till I could comprehend what I was reading. That feeling reminded me so much of the day I found out.
I remember watching the news about a helicopter that had
crashed carrying Navy SEALs. It was the morning of June 28. My dad was seeing the same thing and we called each other to talk about it. "Dad are you seeing this?" I asked. His answer, "Yes, ... It doesn't sound good." I sent Shane probably 15 emails asking him if he was okay. "Shane I'm seeing on the news a helicopter went down carrying SEALs. Are you okay?" No response. Every part of me wanted to believe that he was okay, but deep down I had a bad feeling. I kind of knew this sounded too exact to where he was stationed and what he was doing.
Throughout the day I kept checking my email hoping to see a reply from Shane. There was none. Later that night my Dad called. His words were "Jimmy, you'd better get down here. The Navy is here." After hearing those words I felt like time had stopped. My response was pure anger. I knew it. I knew that feeling I had deep inside was right. I just didn't want to believe it. "Are you f###ing kidding me? Are you f###ing kidding me? ####!" I don't know why my response was so filled with anger, but it just was.
My wife and I drove into Boulder City. Straight to my Dad's house. I don't really remember the drive, just the very moment I stepped out of my truck. I remember it was dark and quiet. I could see the front door. I was afraid to go in. It was as if each step meant I was getting closer and closer to reality. As I walked inside, the first faces I saw were the two men from the Navy. They both looked right at me, but I looked away as quickly as I saw them. I kind of felt like they were the devil. Here were these two guys in my Dad's home telling us that Shane was dead. I hated them! I turned and saw my Dad standing in the middle of the living room and my two other brother's, Chase and Dean. Both of them were sitting on the couch with tears rolling down their faces. I went over and hugged my Dad. "What happened?" I asked. The devil responded...
This is what I remember of June 28, 2005. What an unforgiving day for my whole family. I have to remember too that there were other families just like us who were hearing the exact same news on that exact same day. My heart goes out to all of them. We got a chance to meat some of them when the Navy held a ceremony for the fallen SEALs. I remember seeing some of the little children, so small they might not have really even known what was going on at the time. That they would never again see their father. I've never experienced so much pain. As for the devil, I know they weren't evil. They were just doing their job which is obviously a very hard one to do. I respect all of our military. Without them, we wouldn't have a United States of America. I love my family more than anything in the world, and I know Shane is up in Heaven with Jesus looking down on us. Waiting to see us all again. Until then, Shane, I love you.